Dear Bloggess,
We are writing to personally invite you to The Mojo Retreat that's happening February 3-7, 2010 in Boulder, Colorado. We have chosen YOU to be the "Official International Correspondent" for the retreat. We were so impressed with your coverage of Japan's sexual deviants and while we can't offer you Geishas and sushi, Boulder has been known to produce some pretty friggin weird people, present company excluded.
When we made our short list of possible international correspondents we were considering...
 Katie Couric (too perky) |
 Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (too dead) |
 Margaret Thatcher (too close to dead - she's not dead yet right?) |
 Jillian Michaels (too mean) |
We decided YOU were perfect because you love spinning in chairs and we have one of those.
And, while we can't pay you as much as salon.com does, you can spin as much as you darn well please at our Mojo Retreat.
You'll also be getting a cool blue ribbon that clearly designates you as the Official International Correspondent of the Mojo Retreat-because we all know nobody wants the white participant ribbon, that ribbon's bullshit.
Of course we will also be endlessly promoting you as the Official International Correspondent of the Mojo Retreat which could land you on the cover of Time Magazine, O Magazine (if Ellen can get there, so can you) or, at the very least, on our blogs, websites, ezines and twitter stream. And, you may not know this but some people think we're pretty friggin cool.
But even more to the point, look at all of the cool stuff you'll get to do.
You'll get to...
Practice yoga
Go hiking
Go to the spa
Drink champagne
Hang with some totally cool chicks like them…
and you'll have more fodder for your columns and blog than you could ever use.
If you've never been to Boulder then you have missed out. If you never thought you wanted to come than you are more misguided than we thought. And if it's always been on your list of cool places to visit then we are giving you the best reason - okay maybe not THE best - to come now. The Mojo Retreat is 4 days of kick ass activities (there's no extra charge for awesomeness) where you'll get to have the best time ever hanging out, and getting serious inspiration for your writing.
And, we promise this Inn and the awesome room you're staying in does not smell like fish!
Melani will even do your personal numerology blueprint which will not only give you amazing insights into why you do, say and feel what you do but it will also give you tons of laughs. And let's be honest - we all know your readers would love to know the karma that's behind the Bloggess.
We would love for you to come to the Mojo Retreat and bring any of your cool friends and readers because they are exactly the kind of women we want to have at this retreat (wig wearing, potty mouth talking, drinking, up for anything, life living). But we're not paying for THEM.
For the REAL details about the Mojo Retreat and to show you this is an actual invitation, here's the more formal, less Bloggess-y invitation we made for regular people. http://www.MojoRetreat.com/live.
Happy trails,
Sandy and Melani
We look forward to spinning in chairs, talking toilets, and toasting with champagne (or doing shots) with you soon.